No sleep

  So last night was the first time I was unable to sleep in a long time.  For the last three months once I hit the bed I was out.  I sit there staring at my daughter and I suddenly realize I am not afraid of her anymore!!!  Do you know what I'm talking about?  That feeling of total shock and awe, you have no idea what your doing (not saying that I do now) but at least I am not afraid.  When she wakes up I embrace it now.  She needs a "freshy" maybe a little "booby" possibly we need to play "kicky Pants". Or  oh, you want me to run around signing Itsy Bitsy Spider while rolling my eyes and sticking out my tongue.  No problem! I think we got this down (knock on wood). Who knew how great it would feel doing all of those crazy things.  The overwhelming sense of joy I have for life now is utterly amazing.  I don't want to make it sound like my daughter is a hassle.  In fact she has the best temperament for a baby I have ever seen.  She barely ever fusses and when she does it's either two things; diaper change or she's hungry.  In that area I have been very lucky.  I'm just talking about that feeling when you finally fully understand ( or at least I think I do ) what this whole MOM business is about!